To Occident of the Paradise (85). The settlers took some of your hair. This time until the hair of the ass they will remove you.

I became distressed with close days, it awaited that the safety would come to arrest us for interrogations. We calmed down because certainly, Bento Salomão under tortures didn't denounce us, because the subject fell in the forgetfulness. Of course was very sense with this. And he constantly meditated: how is it that a country starts the time to kill all her youth in the war? What future would have this country? In fact, it was already notable to verify that this war was a great business. It was enough to see the opulence of some companies that appeared of the anything.

A youth Sao Tome she was great friend of Bento Salomão. Some of their work friends with the newspaper in the hand approached her. They revealed distrust and aggressiveness:

- Mixed-race bombers friend, escaped of taking bomb here.

- Look at their late blacks. The settlers took some of your hair. This time until the hair of the ass they will remove you.

With the frustrated aggressiveness, the friends disappeared quickly for among laughter’s.

The two Portuguese partners didn't understand each other. One of them took the money of the incomes and it started the nights to play poker. He got up at noon and he appeared in the service with sleep face. He asked for the daily income. All the money that there was took it for their continuous and endless poker sessions. It got into a lot of debts and due to that he stopped there being money to pay the expirations. The other partner dissolved the society that just resisted almost one year. He spoke to some of us that it will create a new company. The action molds would be different - it tried to convince us - because we would be all partners. Hee defended the new company as an embryo of future cooperatives. A model of the Soviet cooperatives in Angola. It was affirmed as a big and genuine communist... one more egoist. A true revolutionary.

Her son-in-law and daughter informed that MPLA on behalf of the popular power confiscated her farm, where it got a good business with the sale of chickens and several other products. That of great communist was pure illusion. He had never been communist in her life.

The company, or cooperative, it would be constituted by seven partners. Three men: Me, the promoter and her son of just sixteen years. Her married daughter, whose husband had a company of public relationships even to our side. He and the father-in-law one could not see. Already some had happened dogfight scenes between both - as narrated by the daughter - and three young mixed-races of Benguela that I never got to know the connections that maintained with the promoter of the society. They were reserved. But when he opened the door of the promoter's cabinet - that insisted that the larger share of the society would belong to him - they were moved with big comfortable.

Image: lusofolia.blogspot.com/2006_01_01_archive.htm

To Occident of the Paradise (84). The boss of personnel's department was Bento Salomão, natural of Bié

The work place was to scarce meters of our home. The partners were two Portuguese. They lived of the pretension, or better, of the illusion of they absorb all of the companies due to the facto of few accountants exist. He seemed a new modality of accounting services industrialized. They were twelve mechanographical machines NCR for us to make releases. The boss of personnel's department was Bento Salomão, natural of Bié, that manifested me desire of knowing after knowing that the Tina spoke umbundu. Then, he started to eat lunch with us frequently and feeling in family told in confidence us:

- I am cousin direct of Savimbi, I am here in Luanda to accomplish a mission.

- What mission? - I asked him as well as that somebody suddenly if he sits down highly in a spy's presence in mission secretes.

- To contact with the people of my family that walk thereabout dispersed. MPLA wants to end with the umbundus… especially that Lúcio Lara that is a great viper.

- I know that UNITA has good staffs and very intelligent...

- Yes, for instance, Jerónimo Wanga is one of the mathematical best than it exists in Angola, but as it is of UNITA, MPLA doesn't give him value.

- He looks, personally I lament this war without sense.

- MPLA will never get to annihilate us, we will expire. He looks, I want to ask you a favour.

- You don't have problems, you can speak comfortable.

- Once in a while I will leave some sacks here with things to give to my family. I thank that nobody moves them, and that they are very hidden for they don't steal them.

- You can be rested that nobody will move them or to steal.

Bento Salomão continues to carry and to transport vulgar plastic bags. Some are heavy. He pleases to open up them but they are well wrapped. If he made him, easily he would discover that they were violated. I ask the Tina, the reason of some sacks be so heavy.

- I don't know.

- With this weight only if it be eaten of lead.

The sacks went and they came. Bento Salomão frequently complains about stomach-aches, and her thinness every day was evidenced. The all the moment supported one of the hands in the belly as if that relieved him or it reduced her the pains. I found imperative to recommend him:

- He will make a consultation.

- It is not necessary; they are problems of the nervous system.

There was a net terrorist in Luanda. The explosions were frequent. The terror was evident. Nobody could foresee where it would be the next explosion. The existence of ours day by day was if it would be at our building, in the job or in another place. The authorities showed her incapacity. Our everyday one took to affects risk seriously what remained of the economic structures.

However, the only radio and television of the Marxist-Leninist State announce that they arrested a great net terrorist. The Tina enters to scream with a copy of the only newspaper that circulated at the country:

- Oh my God! Oh my God! I will faint.

- The one what is Tina?!

- He sees the pictures that are in the newspaper.

I opened it and among several pictures it was the one of Bento. Salomão. Then I understood everything. Our house was for storage of bombs. They were also explained the stomach-aches. My fear was if he had admitted where he kept the bombs, and we be accused of conniving, which as it is obvious, it would be difficult to explain to safety's services.

And they were more Angolan sparkled on behalf of the freedom and of the revolution. Tina started the life to look for the picture and it commented on me:

- Bento Salomão was so handsome, so nice and intelligent.

To Occident of the Paradise (83). I left without saying good-bye. I never again saw them. It was inaugurated the era of the cruelty and of the falseho

It is heard the bell of the door, Aquino will open. A mixed-race enters very loud and very thin. He seems to have about forty years. Her face presents fatigue, aged precocious would be said. He looks at the empty bottles and question constrained:

- Did you drink everything; didn't you keep anything for me?!

To drive for the kitchen, Aquino prevents me:

- Care, this is very dangerous...

- Shit! Did this only remain?!

He comes near us. In spite of Aquino to tell him that I was a person becomes friends, it ignores me entirely. He opens the whiskey bottle that discovered at the kitchen, it spills a mouthful in the glass, and he sees himself for Aquino:

- Hey shovel, I am shit with this shit!

- Reason?!

- They ordered to reorganize me the Ministry of the Finances… I don't have anybody... only if he does the alone reorganization.

I took advantage the conversation and I gave my opinion:

- If he needs of my help, I am at your disposal.

He didn't answer me, it was as if I didn't exist, and it continued:

- But with that means will work? And in what financial conditions? How much will win? Nor a car gives me. The answer that they give me, is that the revolution needs sacrifices. How is it possible to work without eating? Them that if whole shit.

Like him it didn't render me attention decided to provoke it:

- I think this is good for the Cubans and for the Russians.

He answered in such a brutal way that it scared me:

- Shit!!! I Want that you if shit, that goes to the shit, don't like whites!!!

I thought that he was to play. But no, it was to speak seriously because it still reinforced:

- Aquino, if this white of shit continues here, I leave.

I left without saying good-bye. I never again saw them. It was inaugurated the era of the cruelty and of the falsehood.

The Tina was me always to swear.

- The other whites have everything and you have no, reason?! Are we to live like this so badly, don't I understand.

- I earn a living honestly. I don't know how to steal. All those that you see thereabout, that they enriched from one day to the next is because they stole. They don't also know how to do another thing. Who arises fast will fall like this. We have to have calm. Little by little and with a lot of work, we will get to straighten our life.

But the Tina continued impatient. She affirmed that their friends despised her because her husband was a poor white. And that the other blacks that lived with whites didn't lack them anything.

I got a good job in a new company, through a former one friend. They walked to recruit and to allure pictures and they paid well. As I was recommended entered with the functions of boss of the patrimony. Our financial condition got better immediately. The Tina bought a freezer - the other no longer it froze well - and room furniture in second hand, and beds for the children to pay in instalments. It got that thanks to their friends that had white husbands. They didn't want to accept the sale to credit, but their wives got to give them the turn. The Tina already if it felt more satisfied.

Image: http://pissarro.home.sapo.pt/memorias23.htm

To Occident of the Paradise (82). We will be all same when white and mixed-races also sweep the streets.

Of facto, Nito Alves in their interventions display clearly her position:

- We will be all same when white and mixed-races also sweep the streets.

He considered that he was still very young for politically to do front to an old fox as Agostinho Neto. Nito Alves begins to be accused of racist. The fears of a confrontation are evident, they are organized manifestations. In my street they pass trucks full of people screaming order words. We are going to the balcony to attend. When they see white or mixed-races scream threatening:

- It is going to your earth settler! Below the mixed-races and the whites! Death to the whites and mixed-races!

The Tina appears suddenly in the balcony. She tells me to hide. I take the children. The Tina screams for the demonstrators:

- Below the whites… below the whites and the mixed-races!

She intended to deceive them, making to believe them that here were all black.

Of facto, later a great confrontation came. To radio it was silent. Later it is heard a voice that announces:

- They already meet at the studios the faithful forces Agostinho Neto!

It was known after there was a great slaughter. Neto says that there won't be pardon for anybody. In the Jornal de Angola constant editorials appear with the title, to Beat in the Hot Iron. Nito Alves gets to escape, but later they capture him. It begins the hunt to Nitistas that they are depressed without pity nor mercy. Of Lucas, Bakalof and many other I will never again see them. I understood what Lucas had told me in an enigmatic way finally. He wanted to tell me: If he found would kill me. I remembered the pictures that I with Bakalof. For some months I had been restless. And if they found the pictures? Would it be considered Nitista? Fraccionista? For a long time it was listened in the National Radio a version in piano of the music Cannon. I think it was a constant homage to the deads. Per times a great battle that we expired, is revealed later with the time a great defeat.

Wanting to obtain more information was the house of Aquino. There it was him always surrounded of books, always to study. He had near itself a medicine. I asked him:

- Is it sick?

- A mouthful in low.

- Is that medicine for something?

- When I worked in Próquímica invented a medicine to cure alcoholic, it is Nootropil.

I was with fear of commenting on because he didn't know like him would react. He wants to say that he walked to take the medicine that invented to cure her own alcoholism. He gave me will of laughing but I controlled. I preferred to talk about the subject of the moment:

- Was a great slaughter, doesn't it find?!

- In the bottom it was one more conflict between blacks and mixed-races. The mixed-races now have the power.

I admit that with this it didn't count, I retorted him:

- Do the mixed-races have the power?!!

- It awaits and he will see later. Anyway it puts the country in a serious situation. First we ran with the whites and we were without pictures. The ones that remained went largely now died. As the mixed-races usually have more knowledge easily they will dominate the reins of the power.

- Marcelo Caetano wrote in her work, Deposition, that the three liberation movements don't pass of organized gangs.

- I want there to know that Marcelo Caetano writes. A thing is right. This country will never again be recomposed. It will be colonized again. I am a scientist and nobody gives me value. I don't get to work in this anarchy. The expiration doesn't arrive me for anything. Books no there is, they put an end to them. The ones that exist speak only of politics and of the revolution. I already decided… I leave. I am also already old. The evils are not combatted, but her origin.

Image: http://pissarro.home.sapo.pt/memorias23.htm

Martians invade Luanda

An extraterrestrial ship has just covered with earth in Luanda. It is known that is for replenishment of provisions, because at this time in that I write you, they spoil us for the teletransportation system, the electric power, the water and the food. They are to suck us, better, they spoil it us everything.

However, there are confirmed news of the landing of several ships in several places of the city of Luanda. The fight is unequal, because the invaders certainly proceeding of another galaxy, healthy very powerful.

We appealed for help the all of the nations and people of the planet Earth.

Help us to combat these invaders before it is late of more.

Angola, clandestine government

"Will it be true?

It consists thereabout that Sonangol acquired most of the apartments of the future Towers of Carmo, (in Luanda) where the cheapest unit patrols the million of dollars.

MORRO DA MAIANGA

To confirm more east "investment" of the national petroleum, the question that is put starting from this hill he has to do with the destiny that Sonangol intends to give to the luxurious apartments that he will have acquired. Will it be to improve the conditions of their modest executives' life? "

To Occident of the Paradise (81). The May 27 is in the forge. Lucas introduces me the Commissary Politicize of FAPLA.

Mauro grew quickly. Now the great subject was her feeding. He started to feed of chicken broth that it was the only thing that she got to arrange. Due to the bad feeding he began to have problems with the teeth. I sent an appeal to my father in Portugal to send food for child.

I was surprised when somebody appeared coming of Portugal with a box with goods. He was Aurélio's father that I greeted half embarrassed. My father knew from her arrival to Angola and he gave him the order. He got to return but nobody of the family would come. He came to manage his company. I asked how they were whole and particularly Marta:

- Marta commented on that you deserved better.

He referred to the facto of the Tina to be black. I was surprised with the statement but I preferred not to do comments. He noticed:

- I already saw that her wife has the house well arranged and organized.

- She was governess in a pension.

- I thought that one of those that don't know how to do anything went.

It would be always more or less like this. The prejudices of a white one to live with a black they would continue, they would never end.

The May 27 is in the forge. Lucas introduces me the Commissary Politicize of FAPLA, Bakalof, recently coming of USSR. He drove a jeep of small box, of yellow-toasted colour, where in Lucas' company we gave some turns for the city. Lucas tells in confidence me that he considers me a person fastens. Sometimes Bakalof invites me to leave. The destiny is always the same, the island of Luanda. No matter how much it tries, Bakalof avoids any dialogue about the situation of the country. In the company of some beers try to provoke on him the widespread war that the country faces. Bakalof prefers the silence, or he just answers with a smile. I never got to obtain him any comment.

The man seemed extremely reserved. Tired, I gave up on putting him any subject. We removed some together pictures. In spite of a lot to insist with Lucas that also wanted a copy of those pictures, that desire was never me satisfied.

I am going to the regular meetings in the Vila Alice. He seems there to be disorganization more and more salient. No longer have directives existed as habitually. The situation I think confused. He tried to change impressions with somebody but it didn't get, nobody called. I was marginalized. I simply discoursed that they were to move away militant. Didn't they want whiter?! Very concerned with this state of things I spoke to Lucas. He is shown enigmatic:

- Did you already see, if of here the some days we find ourselves face to face, and does one have to kill the other? Neto is already old. We have to change the Old for a new one. Us front North is that we struggled… Nito is our boss.

He didn't tell me anything else. But the warning was clear. Some thing would happen. And as they despised me that meant that they moved away me of MPLA.

I went for the last time to the Vila Alice, and I gave them my uniform and the pistol.

To Occident of the Paradise (80). One of my students is Irene Neto. It is very intelligent as the father.

- What is the one then that he brings it for here?

Intrigued with his physical complexion diverted him the answer:

- Do excuse, does he practice some sport?

- I practiced weightlifting until there is little time. Due to the tasks present I stopped doing… but he tells me that intends.

- It is on my wife - the Tina - she is almost to give birth...

- Frankly, that is subject for a hospital and me am not midwife.

- But, doesn't he know that the people of mixed-race childbirths are despised? I don't want to run risks.

- That didn't know.

- But it is the pure true.

- He hopes will already treat of that.

He sought during one minutes until that he found a book:

- Look, this book will help it. It belonged to a person of my family. It was written for who lived in the bushes, far away from the doctors. They have a chapter dedicated to the childbirth without doctor. Excuse but I cannot waste a long time, because I am to prepare my classes for tomorrow.

- Is teacher?

- Yes, in Salvador Correia. One of my students is Irene Neto. It is very intelligent as the father. To the beginning they took her of car. But Agostinho Neto put an end to that. He told him that the rights are same for all. House salts as all of the students and you take a sandwiches.

- Did Agostinho Neto make that?

- In spite of everything it is very human. He already happened during a course in that it went with her escort, he saw a wounded and it interrupted the march for helping. Now I have been very concerned, because I am to prepare slides to do projected to the first trainees of the petroleum’s that are going to Italy. So that they don't leave of here without the now notice knowledge.

I studied the book well in the chapter dedicated to the childbirth. When the hour arrived got ready to be my son's midwife. I extended a big cardboard in the ground. The Tina opened the legs as it determined the book. I put a pot with water until her to be lukewarm. I prepared the diapers and a razor blade no previously used last in the fire to prevent infections, and a lemon.

It was the first childbirth that did in my life. First he appeared the head of the baby and later the shoulders. I put the two thumbs in the extremities of the vagina and I made quick pressure, avoiding to hurt the newborn baby. This would help the mother, and it would also serve so that the fabrics didn't become torn. The shoulders appeared. The most difficult was made. The newly born suddenly jumped as a fish out of water. I held him very daintily and he gave the first life signs... he sneezed and he cried.

Mauro was born. I measured two spans of my hand and with the sheet I cut the umbilical cord. I bent it to the middle and I rolled up line with little pressure. I put a lemon drop in each eye for to disinfect. Then it was the first bath to be properly clean. The towel and the diapers were under the responsibility of the Tina.

Image: http://pissarro.home.sapo.pt/memorias23.htm

To Occident of the Paradise (79). In brewer Cuca the chemist is banished

Agostinho Neto wanted to gather with all the coordinators of the action groups in the Dona Amália. We were already there to her wait. He arrived, the enclosure was very tight. I was in the middle of our group. He would have to pass for me almost leaned. He walked, he made a quick stop and for moments in the we looked at each other, eyes in the eyes. Then it stared me of high to I lower. I don't get to imagine what he would be to think.

Lucas prevents me that the state actual of the things was not good. The reply Agostinho Neto is going growing. The dissatisfaction in relation to the whites and mixed-race is evidenced. It alerts me for this facto. It tells in confidence me that it didn't go to this that we struggled. Who struggled went us, the ones that were in the first area. Who suffered went us that were north in front. MPLA owes us that, and we are not to see anything.

They are well-known the new classes and the inversion of values. The comrade continuous raisin to give orders. The medical comrades - finally all the technicians - they pass to bureaucrats without any value. In brewer Cuca the chemist is banished, because her work is only to prove beer. The one that he makes any one of us can make it. Due to that the production stops. All of the services want to be equipped with new things. Cars don't lack, they last little time due to the maintenance lack, or to the constant accidents owed to the excesses of the alcohol. A ministry still with their typewriters IBM, impeccable, he abandons them and it imports new models. In the Newspaper of Angola a machine deteriorates in Porto of Luanda. Nobody wants to know. They brag that the country is very rich, and that everything is just one more or less a barrel of petroleum. The era of the consumerism is inaugurated. To the stores of the people the Brazilians get to export large bottles of mark wine invented at the last hour - monastery - that was a chemical poison that put a lot of people in the hospital. We passed to designate him mortar. Another tactic of the Brazilians was get to export salt for Angola in packings of glass whose label said: Garlic with salt.

The Bulgarians take advantage of the wave and they export glass glasses with fruit compote.

They care thousands of secretary's calculators with incorporate clock. The calculator worked linked to the net and for the clock they were necessary two batteries. It was the great consumerism. He UNTA - our syndical headquarters - democratic forces us to discount a percent of our wage. We never got to know the given destiny the those moneys.

The Tina is about to give birth. As they alerted me that in the hospital are dangerous the mixed-races childbirths, because they consider the blacks prostitutes, the mixed-race children's childbirths are to kill, I decided to ask aid to her brother-in-law Figueira.

It received me in her located apartment to a hundred meters of the Provincial Commissionership of Luanda. Aquino - it was as soon as called her - after informing that it came recommended by his brother-in-law Figueira, it invited me to sit down. It was loud and robust, very muscular. It was noticed that practiced some sport. For the aspect he would walk close to the fifty years. The atmosphere to our turn showed notable disorganization. Books on the whole side, some almost on top of plates with remains of the meal of the previous day. The towel of the table was plentiful of powder. Some empty bottles of whiskey spread indicated that Aquino was a good drinker, just as Figueira I had prevented myself. It was also evident that there was a woman's lack. Aquino began the dialogue:

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To Occident of the Paradise (78). They ordered me at night to stand guards in the prison of São Paulo.

And in the company according to instructions of MR Figueira, I spoke to the administrator about my situation, on my future. It guaranteed me that it was to treat of that. But the days passed and nor a word of hope went. Then he entered in a crooked deal with VW of Brazil. The commissions were bulky. It corrupted some people. Somebody denounced the corruption to the government. Before being arrested he got to flee heading for Portugal. I saw that he didn't have more any opportunity and I presented my dismissal. It was the beginning of the corruption in Angola. A new more terrible colonialism than the previous began.

My main concern now was to guarantee the conditions of survival of the Tina and of Dina. He studied intensely for us to leave the poverty. The belly of the Tina increased. Inside of few months we would have one more mouth to feed. The foods made scarce. The Tina had to struggle a lot to get to buy some small mackerels in the market of São Paulo.

Our salvation was the mother of the Tina. She lived close of Futungo of Belas and she had a tillage in abandoned farm of Gomes & Irmão. She ordered my youth’s brother-in-laws to fish and they pick mabanga. In the tillage it was picked jimboa, jindungo, tomato, lettuce, etc, that she also sent us. If it didn't go that precious help would die probably of hunger.

The stores of the people appear. To have access it was necessary a card. To the four or five of the morning the Tina went to the queue. The queue’s controllers gave whippings in the women. Once in a while the Tina was also hit. After a long wait and suffering, she got to bring some thing for us to eat. And it let off steam:

- Who doesn't want to be in the queue gives the vagina to the guards, or she dates with them. Or if she gives the vagina to the responsible of the store it is still better. They enter for the door of the horse, they make sex and quickly they assist them. Until they take everything that they want. He was inaugurated like this the widespread prostitution, and carrying everything in the heads.

Agostinho Neto will say later than who wants to come for Angola guarantees them the bread with butter. In Headquarters' meetings, Agostinho Neto leaves everyone to speak. In the end he says that it thinks it is better like this and like this, and question if they are all of agreement. Of course answers that yes. Here he reveals her intelligence of uncontested leader. Who committed the minimum mistake was immediately moved away. In spite of everything we felt in the calm ones. He imposed respect. Her presence was enough and nobody felt comfortable. They were very difficult times.

The directive of EMG of FAPLA appeared, of the widespread popular resistance. Lucas asked for me my personal data and they took a census of me. If it went to one of the fronts think he would not leave of there alive. But as it was technical was to support the rearguard. They ordered me at night to stand guards in the prison of São Paulo. It cost me to understand that before, in the colonialism it was prison, and now it continued to be it. It should be transformed at museum. The comrade Sacrifice was the boss. He arose to the terrace, he approached me and he greeted me:

- Good-night comrade.

- Good-night comrade Sacrifice.

It was one moments in silence and later it surprised me with the one that I thought a provocation.

- Jesus Christ was a great revolutionary.

I put to the defensive, because he didn't understand where he wanted to arrive:

- Yes… of facto he was the largest revolutionary of all of the times.

- But, was it a great revolutionary or the largest reactionary of all of the times?!

I tried to argue but he suddenly went down. I thought that the put subject was a test on which I thought on religion. It was enough to put a foot in false, to be connoted as counterrevolutionary, or agent of the imperialism. There were good a lot of people that read a manual and he was already considered more revolutionary than the true revolutionaries. Actually there is always a church in our hearts. "And only the truth frees us.”

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