To Occident of the Paradise (75). Agostinho Neto that intends is to end with the whole Western influence. There will be a great bath of blood here.

When in these circumstances one of them arrived, I asked him he got to collect some thing. The answer was to raise a hand to give me a plated. Faster than he held him in the arm, I looked well at their eyes, and I implied him that if it tried some aggression gesture, one of us would not be alive. He landed the receipts of the collections on top of the secretary, and he left without telling any word. The beginning of a great symphony on the anarchy was to be composed.
Figueira attended the scene. Impassive, dew, let off steam:
- The one that afflicts is me that everyone in this country lost the common sense. The ideologies destroy a nation. He had consideration for Savimbi, it thought he was the only that he had more conciliatory positions - he is very intelligent - but has just destroyed everything, because it freed arrested of common crime in Huambo, and that is incompatible for a man that intends to defend and to impose the justice. This country is lost. Good, I also took the decision of me and my family abandons Angola. But I won't do as all do. I will leave of here calmly after the independence, with the small same suitcase with that here arrived.
- Mr Figueira, and Agostinho Neto?
- Agostinho Neto that intends is to end with the whole Western influence. There will be a great bath of blood here.
Her wife arrived, she heard part of the dialogue and she increased:
- Figueira, our friend Diógenes Boavida is also a great militant...
- He could not leave of the being. All know that I eat lawyer is a nullity. The worst lawyer than it existed in Angola.

However, Lucas is going occurring me the point of the situation:
- He looks, tomorrow Xietu - Boss of the State-larger of FAPLA - it comes here to render a homage to our boss of the mechanics. They are friends of long date, and the boss of the mechanics was militant in the secrecy. It is attentive because I will come personally to Xietu.
He makes a pause and it considers:
The António Jacinto is the minister of the Culture, but as it is white thought it is still early for that. It should be named later. My brother-in-law will be named minister of the Work. As we are friends that is good for us.

In the pension it was the general stampede. Me and the Tina we were alone, but not for a long time. People came is not known from where, that immediately occupied the abandoned facilities. They didn't have coexistence notion, and their habits left a lot to want. They made the meals in any place. Inside or out of house they were pots and dispersed plates on the whole side. The garbage increased. The sewers stopped working because the people threw everything for her interior. The obstructed sewages broke out and a flow of rotten water became habitual company. And they came more people for a space than no longer it supported more nobody. And they tried to invade it all the moment our privacy.
The worst happened when to middle of the night thieves came for us to steal us. The Tina noticed, she left and with a long conversation that maintained with them, they left to laugh.
I spoke to the Tina and she told him that urgently would have to leave this place, because we didn't have any safety. She was opposed arguing that her things that there were yours belongs. But how to remove them if the house was already busy?

Electric terrorism

Luanda. Again the electric power accompanies the total and complete chaos. When this mother of the misfortune fails, he is always to fail, they pull the generators of the idiots of the badly parked invoice of meter to meter.

The atmosphere is poisoned so that it won't be surprised the evacuation of thousands of inhabitants for us to escape to the death for poisoning. For the sponsor's delight MPLA, and of their foreign friends, the such of our GDP that it is always to grow. That curious: the poverty and the hunger also accompany this hallucinating rhythm.

Then, MPLA accomplishes like this main program: to exterminate us.

Image: assistenciaremotacarlos.blogspot.com /

To Occident of the Paradise (74). In Portuguese they say for the whites be. In kimbundu for us to run with them.

The other day already they knew, somebody saw. In these things it is difficult to hide. There is always somebody as the mice to watch.

Besides the Portuguese the Tina spoke more two languages, the kimbundu and the umbundu. It alerted me that in the radio MPLA in Portuguese said a thing, and in other kimbundu. And it explained to me:

- In Portuguese they say for the whites be. In kimbundu for us to run with them.

Mr Figueira promoted me to first bookkeeper and I went to manage the area of the rent a cars. They were twelve, and fast I noticed that they stole them pieces. I went to have with the boss of the mechanics and I gave her bill of the occurrence, but him little he could do. The first car that I rented was a couple, two days later shattered it. They married, and after the party with the effects of the alcohol, they left the highway, they entered for a back yard, they collided with a wall. Ribs, legs and broken arms. Bad beginning for the independence. Another car that I rented, the driver proceeded for Malanje in the crooked deal of the diamonds. He didn't have luck, they murdered it. The car when it arrived was full of dry blood and larvae on the whole side. They lacked him several pieces.

As if everything this was not enough, the administrator's son recently near of Mozambique it diffused in any car, and he didn't feel knowledge. I tolerated the sector during some months, until that the Figueira spoke to the administrator and it put her son there. As we didn't have anybody in the administrative services, we were forced to play all of the instruments. Like this, we worked in the invoice, in the bills, in the accounts department, in the mechanography, in the department of staff. It was very heavy but we gave care of the message. Besides these tasks it also distributed work for the components of the action groups. He made this lying with a block of notes. This sometimes lasted to two in the morning. Of course woke up very tired.

Then the trainings came. Agostinho Neto wanted a special force - the ODP-organization of the Popular Defense - for protection of their backs in the day of the independence, and to protect the city of the vandalism. He insisted that if he didn't repeat another Congo.

For several weeks we trained in the field of São Paulo. The preparation was given us by a former-command of the Portuguese Army of which no longer I remember the name... Paulino. Naturally that the trainings were prepared to command. Few days lacked for the great day. It arrived home and water there was not. He slept all dirty, full of powder because of crawling. It was a very preoccupying situation because the lack of water continued. Three days before the great party it pulled down a great shower during the night. We took advantage the water of the rain and we made reservations. We were clear.

We had two collectors whose function was go the customers near and they collect what owed us. They went out in the morning with a collection relationship and they returned before the bolt of the file. They complained that didn't get to collect almost anything, because where she drove was not there anybody. Figueira called the customers, and these said that he didn't appear for there any collector. Of facto the collectors always appeared drunks. The time started to drink at the bars. They stopped respecting the elementary rules of the work.

Image: http://pissarro.home.sapo.pt/memorias23.htm

Did it burst the bubble in Angola?

There are signs on the part of the private newsstand related with the possibility of we be already before an explosion of the real estate bubble that he was formed at the Angolan market where the construction of the square meter got to cross the 9 thousand dollars.

The problem now is that the promoters that were obligated the banks near are not to get to sell the apartments and the offices at a price that allows to reimburse them their credits. The banks that financed the projects already began to see "squids" as regards to badly stopped credit. Still nobody assumed the explosion, but facto in this height can be said that the banks already stopped financing new projects. In morrodamaianga.blogspot.com

Image: FOLHA 8

To Occident of the Paradise (73). Under excuse that was of the Jehovah's Witness, they arrested the man for several days.

Without staffs we did what were able to maintain the company. He stayed convict that Agostinho Neto had enough staffs to substitute the lack of the Portuguese. It was just a subject of time.

However they were the personnel's nominated two staffs that they remained for us to drive the mechanics and the office of the workshop. This didn't delay a long time there. Under excuse that was of the Jehovah's Witness, they arrested the man for several days. We believed that would be dead. But he later appeared and it told us that happened:

- During the days that I was arrested he rarely ate or he drank water. They beat me with a cutlass; they left my backs well kneaded.

And he lifted the shirt and it showed the marks of those plated of the cutlass. Easily we discovered the reasons that took to the man's prison. A militant one took possession of her car. Another was with the incomes of the workshop.

Two other workers were also nominated. One for the department of agricultural furniture’s, other for the fuels and lubricants. The pieces of the tractor’s disappeared mysteriously. The fuels and lubricants were stolen to the view of everyone. MPLA had information of these behaviours, and very laughable, as sanction they were later to occupy functions in the Headquarters of Party, alleging that they were not robberies but yes orders of Party, because no longer private property existed and everything was of the people.

Once in a while a close grenade of us fell. Two of them were really inside of our facilities. What to do? As Lenine would say. With UNITA and FNLA out of Luanda, thanks to the support given to MPLA by the Portuguese communists, the date of the independence approached.

The Tina decided to do me a general offensive with all the weapons that it possessed. She called me the alone ones and she lifted the skirt. It showed me her surrounded vagina of full dark and coiled hair that reminded the flowers of the mystery of the mythology Bantu. In the centre, the pronounced furrow and chestnut tree seemed a very tempting Angolan chocolate that it is not savoured, it is eaten.

- Dear, it is not beautiful? Don't you like?!

- Yes, it is very beautiful… it seems a chocolate.

- Soon at night will have at my room... I am to your wait.

I went to have with her as combined. I knocked on the door. She opened her and it was excused:

- He waits for one more mouthfuls. I am to see if I get to fall asleep my daughter. It seems that it is distrusted. When you come the open door is the sign.

I waited and the sign didn't delay, it arrived. I entered and she closed the door. She was just with a transparent short skirt and with the hands put in her sex, but they saw each other clearly some hairy places that it didn't get to hide. We sat down in the bed. It crossed the legs and it was to look me maybe apprehensive of my reaction. I tried to remove her hands of the legs but she didn't accept. I made him pressure to uncross the legs but it resisted. I insisted and she murmured:

- I am with shame.

I tried to move him in the breasts but it refused:

- I don't like that move me in the breasts.

I caught her breasts and I tried to suck the nipples:

- No, no, in the breasts I don't want. He already said. I become very upset when they move me in the breasts.

- Done reason want?

- I don't know how to explain. I never liked that. Don't make noise except her wakes up.

She lied down, she opened the legs in an irrecusably invitation. While we made love, he tried to play her in the breasts. It moved away my hands with force. After the finished loving dream she asked me:

- Did you like?

- I like chocolate a lot.

- And I like milk a lot. You are a jester. You have a lot of chocolate here. He sees there don't destroy if the teeth. Now it is going you although, because if my boss's wife knows won't like.

To Occident of the Paradise (72). since then they labeled me: "that I was communist", and as such they marginalized me.

The conversations to the table, as they could not leave of being, they were about the situation that lived her. Opinions were changed on one of the many official reports of MPLA that affirmed... "And like this our people continue in the poverty", and that it was necessary to end with the musseques. He defended this position, but with very care, because he took a risk to take a great beating. Since then they labeled me: "that I was communist", and as such they marginalized me. They told me after the Tina began to like of me because it was the only that it defended the blacks. But I didn't pay attention to the comment.

And new messages appeared:

- The Tina likes you a lot, she says that you are very beautiful, you know how to speak well and that you are not a racist.

After the insipidities that I passed, it was not of sloping moment for loving subjects.

And the Tina passed to the attack. In the morning it was the last to leave. While it took the small-lunch, she was in front of me of backs to wash clothes in the tank. With a mini-skirt almost for the middle of the legs, once in a while she bowed so generously that the fabric arose so much that she discovered the nakedness of her behind of attractive and very sensual buttocks. Then she turned and with a roguish smile she seemed to wonder if I liked or not. And the feminine blockade continued daily.

As he stayed unyielding she passed the other tactic. When it served the lunch - there was not dinner - all the other guests had a steak in their plates, I had two. An egg for the other ones, two for me. Two hotdogs, four for me, etc. Some guests pointed the finger for my plate in air of joy. They called the Tina and they asked because only I had the double of the food, and her very serious:

- It doesn't arrive for all!

Of course the guests didn't accept the justification, and to laugh they asked again explanations, and her enigmatic:

- It suited like this, tomorrow it can be any other one… Ah! Don't upset me!

The comments started to be more directs:

- But don't you see that she likes so much of you what to it puts in your plate the double of the food? Because it is knowing that that woman is worth more than thousand white.

In the work place I was surprised with a news. The two administrators had been arrested and taken for the field of the Bullfight. As coordinator of the action groups asked for explanations the some members. And they elucidated me:

- They were arrested because they offered vehicles to UNITA.

I thought about to go to Vila Alice's delegation and to ask for us to loosen them. But I changed of ideas, because certainly it would also be accused of connivance and prisoner. The other day they loosened us. When they arrived looked for me as if I was the author of the feat. The era of the justice of the popular power was in the peak. Summary justice.

However all of the department bosses left forever. Some for Portugal, other for Brazil, South Africa, Rhodesia. The boss of the sales said good-bye with a small assembly and without you eat in the language with Mein Kampf (my fight) of Hitler, very visible and with the fixed glance in me loaded of hate prophesied me:

- I am leaving because of the shit communists. They will be all died. Without the whites they won't manage to do anything. They will die all to the hunger. And the last to leave that it turns off the light.

Terrible prophecy that later would be rendered, but they didn't get to end with the communists.

The one that broke said me invariably more or less the same thing. "That the very false healthy blacks. That the malanjino for drink betrays everything and all. That the best way to work with this people is to give them to understand that he trusts them. That a white to be here only if it goes commanding of MPLA. He meditated and it concluded that these whites are really great racists.

To Occident of the Paradise (71). The boss's wife's cousin came to accomplish the military service and as good follower of the colonial flock, he left

The pension was improvised, typically colonial because it existed and he survived of the military and civil waves that populated Angola, it supported fifteen guests. Of property of a couple of Portuguese that they saved it more than possible in the expenses that kept for the definitive return to Portugal. The husband worked as manual in a quarry in Cacuaco, the wife was of the aristocratic class of the domestic vulgarity. He dominated them at all the colonial urban lack of culture. There are already fifty years that the end of the life waived her victorious.

The Tina was the only maid that took care of everything. She made the beds, the meals, the purchases… she was the maid for the whole service. It looked for there twenty-five years. Thin, high, breasts small, natural, sensual. Natural of Kilengues, factory of the more beautiful women Angolan women and maybe of the world. A mwila of the ethnic group lunyaneka, what is the same as to say, very beautiful. She got to go from vacations to Portugal with the bosses, but she admitted that it didn't like the idea. It was in Alentejo, where it scared the children because they never saw a dark person. And they screamed for the mothers: we "saw a devil!".

The boss's wife's cousin came to accomplish the military service and as good follower of the colonial flock he left him a daughter without father that now was three years old. They told him to go for Portugal but she didn't accept due to her nationalism always latent. After educated in the Island of the Priests of Luanda she was absent for her birthplace. Upset and scandalized due to her western religious education, she went out of there with a son that gave under the care of their parents.

She returned because her husband had several women according to the saint's tradition Bantu commandments. She didn't support that life that contradicted Jesus' saints teachings, she walked and it ended for coming to stop to the pension as if it was a monastery. The wage earnings was miserable because the instituted power decreed that the blacks should never ascend besides laundresses, servants without value according to Holy Mother Church precepts: "everything that goes black it is slave of the eternity of the Lord."

Before such low political condition sustained by the religious conspiracy, even so the siblings when they visited stole her that they were able to her.

However, the daughter almost stayed the whole time in the courtyard, caged in a type of big bed. And so that the child became distracted once in a while, I removed it of the cage, but she ran to the mother's encounter that impeded it of working. It was for that that prey stayed without the undertaking of any crime. After all, he is still considered a crime for who is born in this world.

To Occident of the Paradise (70). and I looked at what remained of the house of the people of FNLA. He seemed a coal pit.

I saw the badly stopped case, I feared the worst. But it would not be like this as easy as the crowd he thought. I got ready for the fight beside my friend. Would my life end be like this? Well then, that it went him.

In the last moment he appeared a patrol of the Portuguese military police. We screamed for them. Some entered in the bus; they saw the sad show and the extremists dispersed. The bus continued trip, without more incidents. This left me very shaky. With determination this country is very violent. With incidents like this, it would be impossible a peaceful transition for the independence. But more incidents happened us and in her we survived. I have faith that miraculously.

We were at the movies Tivoli to see a film. The right line was discovered. Somebody threw a grenade in the yard, and the splinters they were projected in several directions. We were close of that area. They were visible the marks of the splinters in the wall close to our chairs. We didn't suffer any damage. However the film continued.

The intention was deliberately to provoke the panic. In another subsequent occasion, in an end in the afternoon, we went to the boarding-house when I heard a sound the one that had become used to already. Suddenly I dragged my friend for the ground. We heard the blow pass over our heads, and in front an explosion in a house. It was a projectile of RPG7. We survived thanks to my instinct.

It also happened in the Avenue of Brazil, when to foot we went to the coffee Palladium. We were close of the house of the people of FNLA. A group of military of MPLA decided to devastate their facilities. With RPG7 and automatic weapons the shooting was so intense, that we just had time for us to take refuge us in the closest door. The buzz of the candies and the blow of the fragments of the mortars were constant. Until it seemed that the shooting was driven for us. They were endless moments. I think we were already wounded, but he didn't see blood leave our bodies. The shooting stopped. Faplas left. I looked once again at our bodies. Without a scratch. I don't know how it was possible. We left our hiding place, and I looked at what remained of the house of the people of FNLA. He seemed a coal pit. Everything darkness and made holes in on the whole side. This house of the people finished their functions ingloriously. The wars are the easiest thing than it exists. It is just enough to carry in a trigger or in a button.

Due to the confrontations, the victims increased as a virus that she went disseminating and for which there was not cure.

We went to the African League where went out a funeral with bodies murdered by white extremists due to the intolerance reigning, the one which no longer he had solution. The destiny was Santana's cemetery. Afraid he said for us to go us away, because the blacks certainly for revenge they would kill us. My friend tranquilized me: "Are you afraid of something? I know them well. They won't make us badly any."

Incorporate in the funereal procession there we went. I admit that it was afraid. We almost arrive her at the cemetery were already thousands of people. And the only whites were us. Did my insecurity increase with fear of at any moment to be stabbed and done shoot for the holes open, and mixed with the coffins who he would give for that? But that great surprise. Nobody mistreated me or it insulted. On the contrary they treated me as brother. Starting from here I felt very confused. After all Black Africa had a lot of surprises. He has just demystified the famous savagery of the Angolan blacks. After all it was a people peaceful, simple and humble. As all of the people just wanted that they left them alone.

Image: headquarters of FNLA. http://pissarro.home.sapo.pt/memorias23.htm

To Occident of the Paradise (69). it is not being hit of the houses of the whites that it removes this people of the poverty.

They admitted me that Marta had some faintings in the work place. That if it didn't feel anything well. She and the family went to Portugal, leaving the abandoned house.

However MPLA throws the word of order of the constitution of the popular power. All want to have car, and they be rich with the spoils: "We have to steal everything to the settlers because the one that they have is ours. They already explored us a lot. Now who orders are us."

The doors and windows of the houses, the gates, are started for us to make bonfires and to cook. Chickens and pigs live together with the people inside the houses. In a few days they present such aspect of abandonment as if there nobody didn't live. In the buildings the panels with the bell buttons and mailboxes he vandalizes. Inside the stairways the switches are also vandalizes to do business. The Figueira fans the head so before picture Dantesque, so primitive: “It is not being hit of the houses of the whites that it removes this people of the poverty."

Who doesn't treat the one of FNLA and the one of UNITA for siblings, and the one of MPLA for comrades, he becomes suspect of belonging to the contrary side. They take a risk the they be arrested, died, whipped or they take a brutal beating.

For the whole Luanda the noise there was been of hammering. They are the Europeans that prepare their boxes for in them to put yours have, and later to transport them to Porto of Luanda and to embark them heading for Portugal.

Lucas, a political ex-arrested of São Nicolau arrime, free. Figueira makes the presentations. It was used when it was arrested. In the first dialogue that we maintained I noticed that before speaking, he was careful and he chose the words before answering. I noticed that he had a culture something solid. Our dialogues started to be constant. We spoke - as it is natural - of the Portuguese and Angolan revolution that it seemed a copy of the French Revolution. The certain height told in confidence me that white progressive like me they were necessary for MPLA, and that in political prisoner's quality would be easy my entrance in the movement. It was necessary - it accentuated - that existed action groups and I would be the coordinator. It would be formed a committee of place action to control everything and all.

After the events with Marta went to stop it a pension in Maianga, through a friend of my friend treasurer, where that friend was also accommodated. He was alone like me. We passed to walk always together. After the service and an end-of-week we frequented the coffee Paladium in the Avenue of the Combatants. It was natural of Angola, and he admitted me very convict: "Happen what wants that it is, we will never abandon MPLA."

He was very informed. It prevented me to be careful with FNLA because they walked some vehicles Mercedes in pursuit of the whites. Who had hair and big beard like me, they connoted him as commander of MPLA. Kidnapped and later executed briefly and the abandoned body in any side.

It took me in the bus for the neighbourhood of the head to visit an uncle, that wanted to speak with him before leaving. Ready to arrive the bus is forced to stop for a crowd of white. They invade him and with clubs they beat in the blacks. My friend gets up, I accompany him, and he screams them: "Leave us alone. You leave although and later we that were are that will stand them and to suffer the consequences."

The crowd hesitated, but one of them that he seemed to be the boss insulted us: "After all they are you that destroy this shit. White children of the prostitute that defend the blacks. They will also take, children of the prostitute! "

Imagem: Luanda, Neighborhood Prenda

http://pissarro.home.sapo.pt/memorias23.htm

To Occident of the Paradise (68). Settlers! They are going to your earth! We will kill them all!

In the office they informed me that somebody was to my wait, with a letter to surrender arrival of Portugal. With great surprise I saw that it belonged to Neves.

Paris, 5.12.74

My Dear

I had the pleasant surprise today of finding among the diverse documentation that I have been keeping, a paper containing your name and address. You don't imagine how I was happy. Me that so many times have been reminding myself of you and of the good moments that we passed side by side in RTm (Regiment of Transmissions) standing the corporal Silva or having a good time to do paper airplanes.

Because my great friend for here walks since two years ago, height in that, having been mobilized go combat the patriots Guineans, I preferred the exile that go kill and to die in a war that already resembled in the unjust and lost height.

You went and you continue being the only individual of the troop that me more longings left me and practically the only that I remember. I have faith that the already considerable antifascist conscience that you possessed fermented plenty my admiration for you

For all this I write you today. He would like to know that is done of you and see you one day again. I wait because with anxiety the words that you won't stop writing me for right.

A fort hug of Neves.

1 encore, Bed Montmorency PARIS 16eme

After reading Neves' letter I was very thoughtful… so many revolutionaries that walk thereabout and they don't have any document that justifies her fight for a cause that detained her militancy. This letter became a precious document for the history, that in any moment it could be published, but I preferred to keep it in my personal files.

In several places they see each other writings to red the words, MPLA VICTORY OR DEATH, what inconveniences a lot of people. In the suburbs the agitation is intense above all at night. Many European they flee for the city and they settle at friends' house. In the houses the ray-small writes, BUSY MPLA. The robberies and the insecurity increase; they are part of the day by day. The strikes are constant and savages. They increase the expirations anarchy, the cost of living goes up uncontrolled. New strikes are made, the wages arise again and the prices also. The inflation doesn't stop. The companies don't support such state of things and they leave below. The threats are constant: "Settlers! They are going to your earth! We will kill them all! "

For precaution the families escape from Angola, it is just her boss, to see what this will give. Many abandon Angola definitively because conditions don't exist to work. Our boss of the mechanics received a proposal of Volkswagen of Brazil and for there he was.

Image: http://pissarro.home.sapo.pt/memorias23.htm

To Occident of the Paradise (67). And to order for the nettles the wealth and the goods that she provides.

I went to a bar in the proximities. There was shrimp big, fresh, and appetizing. I ate several doses and I drank great amount of beer. I paid the bill, I got up and I noticed that the drink got mixed up the walk. I let to cross me for the alcohol. I pointed the direction home. It was already night. The first thing that I did was to seek Marta. The Grandfather told me that it was at the room with Aurélio. I tried to see for the windows that she happened in the interior but I didn't get. The light was lit. I tried to hear what spoke but in vain. I tried quietly to open the door but it was closed to the key. I believe that my brain lost control. I knocked slightly twice on the door and I didn't obtain answer. The beats of my heart were so strong, so uncontrolled that I felt to lose mine control emotional. I knocked with force on the door. My breathing was deep, very agitated. Marta opened and for my fright she asked:

- The one what do you want?!

I was without words to answer. Everything waited less that. She looked inside and she almost screamed:

- Aurélio, only one moment!

His hair was combed impeccable. In the lips some were noticed fail of lipstick. A part of the skirt was crumpled and she let to see a little of the thigh. Contrarily to the habitual it was without glasses.

- Marta… because you didn't open me the door? What were there to do with Aurélio?

It went to the kitchen and it dressed a gown that covered him almost the whole body.

- It was to talk!

- Only conversations with him and with me not?

It turned my backs with contempt and it went to the kitchen to wash plates. I caught her in the gown and I pulled her so that it was in front of me. She made resistance to free, but before my opposition, I still increased more the force and great part of the buttons jumped. She complained with low voice:

- If now you do me this, that it will be after we marry.

I was in silence to look her. Then I abandoned her and I went again to the bar. Aurélio was there, I approached him and I promised him:

- Aurélio, I will break the face.

He didn't tie me and past some moments he left.

Aurélio returned in her mother's company. She was to await in the car. He told me that she wanted to speak with me. He had him a lot of consideration and due to that it assents and I went to her encounter. We went home. I heard a great lesson of moral. I didn't get to reply because I understood that Aurélio manoeuvred everything her contentment. The reality was very different and I preferred to keep silence, that to cause a great displeasure to a senior person, and with problems of high blood pressure, that she frequently complained about lack of air. I decided the other day to abandon the home forever, and to order for the nettles the wealth and the goods that she provides.

Image: School Salvador Correia in Luanda

http://pissarro.home.sapo.pt/memorias23.htm

To Occident of the Paradise (66). Extremist Whites wanted to create an army for us to liquidate the blacks.

The days happened her and our involvement was deepened. But, no matter how much we want exists always an except. When he talked with Marta, Aurélio arrived, it interrupted our dreams and she there went… near him. More time passed with him than with me. I started to question me inwardly, and to doubt of Marta's love. Will it be that they would continue like this after we marry ourselves? And when were the alone ones at the room did the something? The doubts assaulted me in such a way that I felt my nervous system return to the syndrome of the war.

The April 25 arrives. The first reactions are of discouragement and doubt. The Portuguese see her threatened future. The military ones in their speeches in relation to the colonies are evasive. The suspicions increase when he enters the military ones appears several that they divulge the communist ideology. In Angola they are born several tendencies of Portuguese, that by all possible means try to maintain the connection to this country. In a disorganized way, without notion of what is political, in the great majority uncultured, they see her the tree of the ancient Portuguese coins to flee them. Intolerant and fundamentalists, try by all possible means to maintain their favourable positions. But it is already late, too late.

Everything this for me was perfectly normal. He knew beforehand that it would happen, for that I was not surprised nor I felt unaware. Extremist whites wanted to create an army for us to liquidate the blacks. Others tried to form political parties to the last of the hour. Other they still defended an Angola multiracial where black, white and half-bloods would perfectly cohabit, because the greatness of the country arrived and it remained for all. But the truth was this: All ended for choosing one of the three movements. The most average observations were: FNLA was movement tribalism, they were all of the North, and the few whites that adhered him were her considered objectives to abate. UNITA was the movement of the whites. MPLA belonged to the half-bloods and of some communist whites. Before this how to reconcile the irreconcilable?! Was the chaos, and did this arrive with speed. The statement was based in: "No I accept to be ordered for black. With blacks to order nor to think."
The plans of general stampede begin to be drawn.

Marta shows me catalogues of homes and of furniture’s. She appears for one:
- This American furniture style is very beautiful.
I agreed entirely with their preferences. I emphasized him that it liked her a lot. Apprehensive, I whispered him that he preferred to count with the money that I won, to avoid dependence problems in the future. She hugged me, she kissed me very slowly and I felt her hot sex leaned mine. After all since it is a house and functional furniture what more is necessary? They were the final preparations for our marriage. But surprisingly the time passed with me continued to be a little in comparison with dedicated it to Aurélio.

It was one Friday. Very displeased and with immense unpleasant thoughts, if her fidelity was real or no, because the doubts that assaulted needed me of they be expelled. But if actually we were already husband and woman, because reasons passed most of the time with Aurélio? So together, so leaned, with such loving laughter’s and me lonely to observe them.

Image: Cologne of Angola. Indigenous notebook
http://pissarro.home.sapo.pt/memorias23.htm

To Occident of the Paradise (65). I had to become used to the comments of the style: The communists" "arrived.

In the reality my sympathies went to MPLA. A weight argument in favour oft was the connections that it maintained with Amílcar Cabral - which considered a man of genius because it was not easy a man to get to gather so many tribes - Eduardo Mondlane and other independents. The fear was the connections to Moscow. But it considered that they were just strategic aspects, and that Agostinho Neto would know how to maintain a non dependence. The treasurer later introduced me some sympathetic of MPLA. And through these I met others. We became a true cell. I had to become used to the comments of the style: The communists" "arrived.

Home they admitted me that Marta felt very happy. Of facto her smile was constant, contagious. Their eyes shone with the luminous intensity of the love that only the women have.

No longer it was secret for anybody that we would unite our hearts in the registry office. In the church it was not possible because she was divorced. At night, in the terrace, we tried the pleasures of our passion. With one of the hands, it went up him sweetly for the legs, it moved away her bikini, and he caressed him slowly the clitoris, while with the another it freed the small breasts of the bra. He caressed a nipple, the other put it in the lips as a newly born. Once in a while celebrate-millstones a deep kiss with our coiled languages. She united the thighs, she scrubbed them, she made an effort them in my hand. The frenzied rhythm arose and it dared, she declared, she whispered:

- Oh my love is all wet… I am not able to more… you confront me.

- We are going to the room.

- You are crazy… nor think about that. They will pick us, you already saw the scandal! This house is not ours, we have to respect. He waits even have ours.

- Wanted… we will do more.

- No… it already arrives. I am afraid, there somebody can come. The grandfather always be awake, if he is hit is going us soon to count.

- Nothing doesn't come... it lets to suck me the breasts.

- It is quiet, be not annoying… or else I leave.

- Where? Will you speak to Aurélio?!

- The something!? But… is my cousin. You know a lot albeit I like him a lot. But just to talk...

-… Raisins more time with him than with me.

- After all you are like this so jealous? He didn't know about that... he looks, for you see that you are wandered already ordered our car, it belongs same to it to Aurélio, a Ford Capri. What is that you find?!

And we finished in a long kiss that meant my agreement.

Luanda, Day of Africa

To commemorate this wonderful day, our immortal Politburo it cut us the electric power from 09.01 to 10.05. In the water we continued excluded of the conducts, in the same, that is, every time worse. What was the precious liquid, it is now in another hideous liberation fight very drought. Daily we sacrificed ourselves for us to get water in a country that has the largest world indexes of economical and social development.

We took knowledge of more several cases of corruption and real estate speculation.

Our dear Politburo held in the almost fifty years of power, it assures us that there for 2013, 2020… everything will be calmed. The vanities of the illiterate habit. With water, electric power, jobs for all, guaranteed the alimentary safety… even with production excess, to export or to lie down for the garbage? We don't know, and I doubt that somebody knows. Finally, that it will be the end of the poverty.

In one more action maybe prodigal of insanity, it is not the best height because the poverty is policed in the fields of words sowed, but there, far away from the cabinets never cultivates. Because, the famous market Roque Santeiro with her extinction will create more thousands of having moved, outdoors stored.

Do look; don't they see more thousands of deportees on the way to Auschwitz?!

On this day of the poverty of Africa, the real estate speculators celebrate her because they created more thousands of hungry persons. More brutal social instability is added. The real estate speculators and their partners won't also be immune to the wave of assaults, including the loss of lives.

Angola is for leadership, barracks strong of the real estate speculation in Africa.

The only thing that the Politburo not in the mind and it always accomplishes so faithfully, so wisely, it is the ordinances of the constitutional poverty.

And to us it lacks us everything but to them it doesn't lack them anything.

The right bet is the investment in the increment of the illiteracy for the guardians' joy and assistant’s real estate speculators.

This day should change for: Day of the Extreme Poverty of Africa.

And however we are together but without future.

Image: http://diario.iol.pt/internacional/republica-democratic-pity-congo-rd-congo-onu-right-pity-man-kiwanja-internacional/1010937-4073.html

Newspaper of Angola

Official organ of the Politburo, of the New Constitution, of the glorious Marxism-Leninism, of the upstarts, of the part house-cottages and of the intolerance zero.

May 21, 2010

Growth strategy seeks to combat asymmetries

Streets of the Namibe without abandoned

Cabinda. Mawete Baptista reaffirms pledge in the well-being of the populations.

Several he needs her. Brazilian for boutique manager

May 09, 2010

Lecture about public honesty. MPLA wants unions with more active paper.

Real estate they offer new tendencies

Several he needs her. Director General Brazilian preference

Hundreds of families in Uíge are leaning. Damaged population receives foils and alimentary goods.

May 07, 2010

Angola makes progresses in the alimentary safety

Diversification of the economy is agrees in the agriculture

Alimentary safety needs urgent attention

Earth cultivated in Angola is still tiny

Director-general of FAO it praises efforts of the Executive in the agricultural domain

The Africans are condemned to adopt politics that guarantee the alimentary safety in Africa.

The public honesty doesn't appear to sanction the public managers, but to standardize and to infuse in the mind of each one that that is the sense of the duty. Marcy Lopes, jurist.

Angola has one of the larger growth levels now, not only of Africa, but at world level. Jacques Diouf, director-general of Fund of the United Nations for the feeding and Agriculture.

Viana shopping centre the pleasure to live

Excess of provoked abortions worries sanitary authorities

Lunda-North. Created the conditions to the fair of the book

Angola Young. Incomes of candidates to the insufficient houses to pay monthly tax.

May 01, 2010

Crops are exciting in Huíla

Several he got lost Chinese passport on behalf of Sichao Cher, Bingoiang Lin and Hangiou Son

For the workers' safety it UNTA wants services of health in all of the companies of the country.

In the whole country. Detected dozens of infractions economic

Cases of tuberculosis worry sanatorium

In Jornal de Angola

Image: I govern provincial it is to foment the family agriculture to combat the hunger

To Occident of the Paradise (64). My gentlemen... who writes things of these it is crazy?!

After reading he cried out:

- Wow! He didn't know that he had a poetic vein... he waits there.

He went for the cabinet of the administration where the bosses celebrated her birthday. Moments later it appeared to the door and he called me. Embarrassed, there I went and I entered. Figueira asked them for permission to read my poem. In the end it explained:

- My gentlemen... who write things of these it are crazy?! Or are we probably that we are it?! Do I Think it arrived the hour for we congratulate ourselves that we have a great staff here among us. We committed a great injustice. I am convinced that from now on no longer we will have any crazy one among us! Thank you very much!

To leave of that day the treatment that they released it changed me radically. They looked at me with great admiration. And the Figueira once in a while blinked my eye. He ended affirming.

- We gave them a great lesson; they will never again enter with itself.

In the end-of-week, with the treasurer, an aged, dispute chess departures in her house. I always lost. He rarely got a tie. The treasurer stuttered during one seconds, he got to wake up the attention. I think he wanted to dialogue, he spoke a lot and he didn't get tired.

- I will tell him a secret... but he doesn't say anybody. Does he know that I am writer's Bobela Mota cousin?!

- No, he didn't know.

- All of the family are of MPLA… and we struggled for the independence.

I answered very cautious because of her fame of speech-cheap:

- I think the independence should already have happened.

- Because with certainty... I am of Porto Alexandre and the way as there treats the blacks - I saw with my own eyes - it is abominable. They are entitled of if they riot, of they be independent. Did he know that Agostinho Neto is the second writer more translated, after Luís Camões, in Portuguese language? And that it is an outstanding intelligence?

- Yes, I know very well!

- Because it is, few know about that. And is that very bad... did he already read the Sacred Hope?

- I Read… and I consider him a good poet. But the intellectuals that I know say that he is a good poet, but a political bad.

- He lets to speak to them because they don't know what say. It will be much better than MPLA drives the destinies of Angola. Know that many of MPLA already met at my house. Good, we were for here. Don't say anybody, and especially to you Mr. Figueira, because he is of UNITA. Or else we are going all arrested, there are spies on the whole side.

Image: http://pissarro.home.sapo.pt/memorias23.htm

To Occident of the Paradise (63). Once in a while she looked at me sideways, she opened the legs and it showed me the bikini.

Mentally I sang the music, Scarborough Fair of Simon & Garfunkel that revived in the sad days, lost and never recovered in Quixico.

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?

Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme

Remember me to one who lives there

She once was a true love of mine

Tell her to reap it in a sickle of leather

(War bellows, blazing in scarlet battalions)

Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme

(Generals order their soldiers to kill)

And to gather it all in a bunch of heather

(And to fight for a cause they've long ago forgotten)

Then she'll be a true love of mine

http://letras.terra.com.br/simon-and-garfunkel/36251/traducao.html

When somebody asked him on certain document, he searched her secretary - that was enormous - and it was long to find it, because they were mountains of papers on the whole side. Then to have the fame of big disorganized.

One day, while he was absent for two days, I remembered the idea of putting all of the documents in folders, organized for themes and in alphabetical order. The secretary was completely empty. When he returned was shocked:

- Wow! But, and now as it is that will work?!

- Mr Figueira says the subject and quickly we found the document in the folders.

- With this it didn't count, I never saw a thing of these… my congratulations.

However, they admitted a youth friend for the mechanographical services. Beautiful and with a brutal mini-skirt, she felt turns to the head, because it occupied a secretary even ahead of my eyes. Once in a while she looked at me sideways, she opened the legs and it showed me the bikini. This started to be my daily torment.

He was not still completely adapted to the civilian life. He continued to lose the calm, and of growing weak for any thing. Until that I noticed that all of the friends believed that it was crazy. The depreciative comments were constant. Until some friends when he approached they laughed her. Mr. Figueira felt with sadness that I was marginalized. The administrator also agreed that there was a nut in the services. No longer it felt comfortable, he didn't know more than to do.

Mr. Figueira did years, and they organized him a small homage party. As he didn't have money to buy him a gift, I decided to compose a poem and that I presented him:

He always exists one day

his day

As well as they exist years

and also silences

Maybe that the thick fog of the infinite

of the time he vanishes

And the time remembers itself

He always exists one day

To Occident of the Paradise (62). Spínola throws her book, Portugal and the Future.

It can be said that my month of vacations finished, I think I learned a lot of thing. It is as always happens in our life, we ended for we move ourselves to and fro. I returned to Lisbon.

My father was radiant. Marta's father wrote him to promise that he would weekly send products of the earth. There were some late letters of Marta the one that answered. Until that one arrived in that she said that their parents were content with me, and for me to go near her. I never supposed that it would return to Angola.

Spínola throws her book, Portugal and the Future. The atmosphere is very agitated. At any moment something is awaited. I am going to Frederico's coffee to know my friends' news. I only see new faces. I recognize an or other with whom had little coexistence. Even so I said goodbye to them, leaving a message for Quitério and Mota, that it went to Angola to contribute for her independence. As everything in the life has a beginning and an end, the empires also.

CHAPTER V

THE CONTINUATION OF THE WAR

Luanda, Angola, January 1974

Marta had much knowledge. She arranged me a job in the Industrial Alliance in the wireless sets assembly. My work was the alignment of the frequencies. He always made the same thing, and it felt that it was not great future. I passed for the installation of sound equipments in automobiles, while Marta calmed down that he was for me not to be stopped, that later would arrange better thing.

I went to the administrative services of Guérin that it represented the mark of automobiles Volkswagen, as third bookkeeper. Mr. Figueira was the manager, and it made responsible me for the emission and I control of the invoices. Fast I noticed the need to study accounting intensely. The money that won was not still enough to buy books. But with effort there went escaping. The Figueira had theological formation, and due to that his name was published in the Official Bulletin. But it was moved away of the church because he made a son. As I developed quickly promoted me the second bookkeeper. He had under mine control the file customers to credit that increased everyday. He already passed of the thousand. The imported automobiles of Germany before they arrive were sold already, because they were of good mark. The workshop to let to leave a car had to contact me, to know the customer he had credit. He answered without consulting the file. Figueira, suspicious, he asked me as it is that I had the pretension of knowing everything of memory. In silence it removed the records and shows it. And him:

- Hey Shovel! Yes gentleman! I already saw that he has good memory!

Image: “Country without direction. Contribution for the History of a Revolution.”

http://www.custojusto.pt/images/9088901464-Antonio+de+Spinola+Pais+sem+Rumo.jpg

Sorcery in Uíge, North of Angola

In a close town of the capital of Uíge, the population, about two thousand souls, abandoned her and she took refuge in the capital leaving the town deserts. Reason: intense sorcery.

In Rádio Despertar

To Occident of the Paradise (61). Marta's father diffused in the hunting gun and it smelled mountain above to the hunt.

The correspondence with Marta was intense. He blossomed, it was noticed the symptomatology of the promises to the love. The courtship moved forward, about the sun that when he is born irradiates her festival beauty. She insisted me to pass some vacations with their parents in Vila Nova of Tazém, in the Beira Alta, because she already had agreement with them. She wanted that they knew me, and she hoped they also liked me.

I went of convoy. When I arrived Marta's father awaited me. He did very cold. We went in an automobile of open box that belonged him. To the we arrive showed me the room in that it would be installed. A room spacious, very airy, with many blankets in the bed. In the living room there was a lit fireplace and it went for there that I went. Marta's mother served me a vegetable soup, guaranteeing me that she did well, and he was great for the cold.

The blankets didn't arrive for the cold of the nights.

In the morning I was greeted with a surprise. Marta's father diffused in the hunting gun and it smelled mountain above to the hunt. When he saw me, it showed me with satisfaction two rabbits that they would be prepared in a little while and repasts. It was with sorrow that I apologized him, admitting him that he didn't like to eat rabbit, chicken or birds. It was excused with some sadness and admiration, because he ignored such discomfort. I relived the situation of the troop, and there the French fries came with steak.

The lands were immense. To the speed of fence forty kilometres at the hour of automobile, we travelled during more than half hour the main road that it delimited them. There was a lot of thing. Fields of olive trees, grapevines, fruits, potatoes, etc. It was a true empire that would inherit with Marta.

I participated in the campaign of the olive. Awnings extended in the ground. We pierced in the foliages of the olive trees and the olive fell. The one that was shown more stubborn, inaccessible, it was for later with stairways, and the most hidden branches they were hackle flax. There was a lot of olive, that later got ready for feeding and for the production of a lot of olive oil. It was noticed easily that the farmer was content. He rejoiced for the year of good crop. And of the grapevines the good water-foot that could not lack would come. Of the pigs they left tempting tenderloins to roast, and of the smoked ham a delicacy.

Marta's father informed me that he sent for my parent’s potatoes and other products, what thanked effusively, naming me as member, that I was already part of the family. It picks her of the olive had finished. The very cold still continued. I was satisfied, I observed and I lived enough with these people honest, simple and workers. They got up to the sunset and, it can be said, they almost lied down when he said good-bye until tomorrow. They seemed that they were at an island, where practically the contacts with the exterior didn't exist. When it tried to begin a dialogue on the politics salazarista, that evidenced the ostracism the one that were voted for, just smile, being excused that they didn't understand anything of that. They just wanted to live her simple life, and to pass the rest of her old age with the earnings obtained in the area of Dembos, in Angola.

To Occident of the Paradise (60). I Began to be with fear of sleeping.

In the first two weeks he always woke up with the same nightmare. That some enemies hit the ceiling to the second floor. That they were already to open the blind, and they came armed with daggers for us to kill me. It woke up in high shouting and later it was very tired. Sometimes the head was to whistle, and he thought that will go mad. But he got to calm down. I began to be with fear of sleeping. The doctor prescribed me sedatives that I took during one days and he got like this already to sleep calm.

He had to arrange job. I answered the an announcement in the Diário de Notícias, that they intended salespersons. It was fundamental condition to know English. I went to the interview; I filled out a questionnaire where the demanded minimum qualifications were the seventh year. I wrote that he had such qualifications, that my English was reasonable, and that in the military life my position was second lieutenant. Of course was lie. They gave an English recycling that was not me difficult. They didn't distrust anything. They integrated me in an it equips of three elements. The company was entitled International Tematron. He sold small computers for children. In the viewfinder the little one leaned a electronic pencil and he answered if it was for instance an A. If wrong, he appeared in the WRONG viewfinder or CERTAIN if it was the right letter. He also worked with numbers.

The displeased was the expiration that consisted of the commissions of the sales. The contacts with the customers they occurred at noon, or to the dinnertime. They were the ideal hours when the family habitually met. And the children liked the toy; they made pressure on the parents for us to buy it. The contacts they were selected of the directory. The preference, clear, it went to engineers, doctors, lawyers and similar. Because the price of the toy was not swims cheaply. As he didn't have own transport, me and other friends walked long bus distances or to foot. After several days I didn't get to sell anything. The fatigue already restrained. He left house in the morning, and he ate a sandwich in any side. With hunger my fight continued. The money began to make scarce and desperate I gave up.

My brother, to follow me from birth in the order had the terrible habit of hearing music with the very high sound in her record player. He had already spoken to him to lower the sound, but it didn't pay any attention. My nervous system began to affect. I heard my father's voice to complain, that it had been of service at night and that he needed to sleep. My brother faked that he didn't hear. Then, I thought that during my absence the home surrendered in the anarchy. He told him to lower the sound. Unlike what he waited… it elevated him. I saw with surprise my brother in fight position. High and strong, he trained karate. He knew that he had already played some beatings. But I was not frightened with that. I diffused in the record player, I threw him to the ground and he broke in pieces. He came in my directly to attack me, I dodged and I gave him two punches in the face. He was to cry. First my mother, later my father, they assisted thinking that I will kill it. My father reprehended me with hardness. Then I was admired with my violence. With determination my house was not local healthy. Did he already think about leaving although, but where?!

Image: http://iriscelta.multiply.com/photos/

And does the cannibalism arrive at the country?

The rumour settled in Luanda but, as he says the old popular proverb there is "no tobacco without fire."

In Weekly publication in Luanda, Angola, AGORA

After the accusation of a case that will have happened in Huambo, last year, in that the victim, a presumably sorcerer was beaten and after dead it was extracted the internal organs for their executioners that will have consumed them, in the capital of the country he is also commented on already on the practice of cannibalism, a phenomenon until then considered to the margin of the Angolan society.

Though, TPA, (Public Television of Angola) as well as TV Zimbo that, supposedly they will have transmitted the news, they denied the facto categorically. A responsible of the area of production of the Tv Zimbo said that he "also heard for high". In public television a journalist of the department of information showed in these terms: I "accompany the program Echoes & Factos and I assure that we didn't emit any news of this nature, excepting the one that we published in the year passed in that some individuals of Londuimbali (Huambo) they will have confirmed the consumption of the deceased's viscera’s.

This, however, it is a case that is to run their procedures in the organs of Justice in the Central Plateau, according to the same source. However, it hovers the rumour that a lady will have given bill of the disappearance of the husband in the km 30, in Viana, that would come to find later already skinned in a type of cut without their internal organs. The wife would come to recognize the husband just for the dispersed clothes in the environs.

The suspicions of the disappearance of bodies altered in you still sleep them of the unit’s hospitals he condense more the curiosity on the supposed practice of cannibalism in Luanda. He has been having cases of bodies that are complained in you sleep them that later end for being taken for ignored. Leaning that this is a situation that has to be investigated by the police", it denounced an employee of the hospital Josina Machel, (in Luanda) while, the general secretary of the Federations of the Consumers, Mr. Domingos of Conceição said to ignore this subject, promising to investigate the case that considered "extremely serious."

The management of the National Institute of Defence of the Consumer (Inadec) he also ignores the phenomenon, but an employee promised to the AGORA, that the manager of Inadec, Mrs. Elsa Bárber will just be able to be pronounced next Monday. We don't "have occurrences of this nature. However, for more details it will be better to hear the manager that can pronounce on her deteriorated products found at several grocery stores and not only", she advised the worker of the institution, sustaining that the only known cases are of the sale of cat meat and of dog discovered at the markets.

In agreement with the sources, the commercialization and the consumption of these domestic animals they will be to be encouraged by foreigners, mainly Chinese for which this will be one of their favourite menus. For this reason she advises the population to acquire perishable directly in the cuts and in commercial establishments properly authorized. National Management of Criminal Investigation sustains for her shift that, having evidences, this organ should enter in scene for the due explanation to the population.

"Having individuals to consume human meat with certainty Dnic (National Management of Criminal Investigation), it won't fall asleep before such atrocity", it concluded an official of this organ of Department of the Interior. According to near noises to this weekly publication, meat salespersons will have advised to street buyers pass to be larger careful with the type of meats that they acquire.

Luanda, Angola. We will do like this, a type of intolerance zero Chinese

Say there not to be tobacco without fire, but to be true this tobacco, then we will be even to walk for the fear of the fire and the burns, they can be of the third degree.

FOLHA 8

As it consists of the corridors of the administration Of Mr. Santos, in the measure in that we are to frequent a lot of people from China, we are going but it is to do like them, and at this time it will already be to prepare through the protection ministry, if not being known under proposal of a militant flatterer or of the minister and or of the secretary of State, a law seeking to limit the access to the Internet, to example of what happened in China.

Like this several operators could be obstructed of entering in the electronic mail of the Angolan internet users, for our general frustration, before the "effect yellow", better, Chinese with Google and Hotmail.

It will be the splendour of the dictatorship if the cabinet of Mr. Santos like this to act, but it will certainly be able to sharpen a wide reply movement, with capacity to recruit "soldiers" in other armies of unhappy. There we are going all to wait to see…

Image: "Hum! Only one greater scandal so that my popularity reaches 100% ".

http://www.chargeseditoriais.com /

Five years later

In spite of your absence, the forests and the fields still stay; they still remember your presence.

Unforgettable, one of your concerns: if you walk with the good ones, you will be good, if you walk with the bad, you will be bad.

To the we abandon the material world of the illusions, of the absurdities; the only gentler memory is the ethereal.

And the brooks and the forests conserve you in the thick fog of the humidity of all of the mornings.

For you, to live is not to perish. To live is to continue always alive in the eternal. My heart and my mind resuscitate you.

We died and the deads resurrect. The world of the deads lives, and ours dies.

He already has a lot that the world of the alive ones is a gigantic cemetery.

He rests in my spirit.

To Occident of the Paradise (59). Also happen when he heard a sound similar to cocking of a weapon.

- No... I like to be like this... I like a lot of meditating.

- But it cannot be like this. A person has to amuse. I think you are very sad. But in spite of that taste of itself… because it is very calm.

I was in the defensive and I remembered that the Grandfather had told me that she was divorced. I probed her:

- Is it divorced?

- Was the Grandfather already to speak of me, it is not?! Yes… am I divorced. I was few married months. He passed the life in the nightclubs with women and he appeared in the morning. I saw that it was impossible and I forced him to the divorce.

- I lament a lot…

-… I don't care of marrying again with somebody that respects me, even if is poor. Money I don't need. I am only daughter and my parents are already old. I have a candidate that lives near here, but I don't like anything him. Good… we will have dinner am with hunger!

Due to the intensity of the heat I went to sleep at the terrace. He was in a nightmare, two shadows approached me. I got up very fast, and he already rushed for the one that they seemed be two enemies, that they wanted to kill me. They were Marta and the aunt that got scared a lot with such reception. The syndrome of the panic took care of me. Also happen when he heard a sound similar to cocking of a weapon. Or when he woke up once in a while in high screams, what scared the people. It would be like this for the rest of the life.

It was in the last snack with the Grandfather. The other day it would be the going aboard that would take me of return the home. The Grandfather told in confidence me that he had heard conversations of Marta, in that she said to like a lot of me. For me to take advantage, because difficultly he would arrange a woman like this. I whispered him that she and Aurélio passed a lot of time together. The Grandfather tranquilized me, that they were cousins, and that that relationship was just of friendship. For me to avoid of thinking like this, because there was not anything of badly.

I said goodbye to all and intentionally I kept for the end the farewells to Marta. She asked me to write him and She admitted me that it would also correspond.

Finally the airplane arrived in Lisbon. The passport of readiness was given me in RAL1, Regiment of Light Artillery 1, the few house kilometres. My father awaited me. I didn't say goodbye to anybody. I arrived the home. He would take advantage to rest and to repair ideas. The odyssey of CCAV 3418, Company of Cavalry 3418 in Angola had finished.

Our hearts melted

It has been two years that I don't see you. But I know where you are. I lost your affections forever. But you navigate in the sea of my spirit.

While you rest eternally, I am always to your side, your companion also always eternal.

The death is the eternal separation. He gets lost living material, but the spiritual is won. It is just a state change, of dimension.

«My force is in the solitude. I am not afraid nor of rains convenient nor of great free windstorms, because I am also the darkness of the night.»

Clarice Lispector